This Is Where We Ran (Fiction)

This is where we walk. I turn the corner, following the route that we always take. Leash in hand, I walk steadily along the right sidewalk of the hilly, bay area suburban neighborhood.

The road dipped, causing her to push forward at a quicker pace, making the leash taut as I was pulled behind her. She wasn’t a big dog, but her persistence and momentum made it difficult for me to control her pace. I would have told her to slow down, but I could tell that she was so happy, and so I continued on this awkward, downhill pace.

She panted quietly, one breath for every other step that she took. Her eyes were alert, and her ears stood up straight to follow the many sounds of the neighborhood. It was fairly quiet, with only a light wind and the rustling of leaves filling my ears. I could tell that her ears were picking up so much more. She quickened her pace even more, forcing me finally to utter “stay by me” to keep myself from falling forward. She acknowledged the command, and came back to walk by my side. She wanted to run, but that happens later, at the end of the walk.

A car came whizzing by, way too fast for the residential road we were walking on. Luckily, she knew not to go into the road without my permission. She was a smart girl, and that was one of the first things I taught her, along with doing her business outside instead of on my carpet. We stopped on a corner. “Time to cross.” She sat on cue, and waited for me to tell her it was time to keep going. “Ok, let’s go.” She walked calmly beside me as we crossed the street. “Good girl!”

We got to the other side, and she started to slow down. Her short, stubby legs made this one-mile walk a veritable marathon, so I picked her up and continued on my way. She was panting a bit heavier now, but still had enough energy to lick all over my face as we walked. I pet her behind her ears, and she closed her eyes in satisfaction. She wriggled a bit as a way to communicate that she was ready to walk again, and I let her back down.

I turn the final corner, where the road begins a steep incline. This is where we ran. We ran all the way from the bottom of the hill, to the top where our apartment complex awaited with water, treats, and toys. Before running, she’d stop and look at me, tilting her head sideways. She knew this is where we ran. “Ok baby girl, want to run?” Without another word, we’d take off side by side, flying up the hill. We’d reach the top, and walk quickly to the front door. “Good job, baby! Good girl!” She’d look toward me with gratitude, panting heavily, alive with the most pure happiness a puppy could have.

I make it halfway up the hill, then collapse, leash still it hand. The tears are becoming unbearable now, and I clutch the empty leash tightly as I face the ground where she ran without a care in the world. This is where we ran. This is where we used to run.

It's Like A Card, But Digital-ier!

So every year for the last four years, this day has marked the day that Lacey and I first got together. I know the idea of an anniversary-of-dating might seem like a silly idea, but when your relationship lasts longer than some marriages, it seems a bit more appropriate. Anyway, we usually give each other home-made cards every May 24th, but since Lacey is now living with me and the office printers are less than adequate, I decided on something a little more unconventional -- a blog post. So don your mushy-goggles and let's do this thing!

Dear Lacey,

We're so completely old now. I remember four years ago, still in high school and living at my parents', and all we really paid attention to was each other (annoying quite a few people along the way). We were attached at the hip, seeing each other pretty much every day. I don't know if I'd call it love at first sight (because the whole principle behind that is stupid and a lie), but we definitely hit the ground running. I knew after only a couple months that I was in love with you, and in typical 'me' fashion I didn't hesitate to tell you. I'm glad that didn't scare you away.

After a couple years, the real world kicked in, and suddenly you were in the nursing program and I was either incredibly busy with work or incredibly unemployed. Usually this is around when most people realize it's not meant to be, with the whole "I'm an adult and want to see what's out there" thing. Luckily, neither of us are really like that, and I had already made my decision that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. Even with real life sinking in, our relationship adapted and we made it work.

Speaking of, I don't know many couples that could have survived what we did this last year and a half, especially at our age. Living six hours away from you is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Seeing you every month or so was both the best and worst time I've ever had. Best, because I got to see my lovey again. And worst, because I knew it was only going to be for a few days. But those early months when we cried after every time we had to part isn't what scared me. It was later, when we had become so accustomed to only seeing each other every few weeks that we stopped crying. I'm glad that's over, because god DAMN that was hard.

Now that you're living with me, I know things are better. I'm so happy to be able to see you every morning when I get up, and every night when I go to sleep. Times are crazy again since we are all up in the air with my stressful job and you starting at a new school, but things will slow down again. And when that happens, I can only promise what I've promised you since the beginning: to be yours and love you forever and ever.

Happy Anniversary Lovey <3

Response to a friend

Breaking up my counter-point into 140 character snippets seemed unwieldy, so I have instead opted to follow suit and post it here!

The following is in response to http://tehcaitzorz.tumblr.com/post/5758450385/part-2 :

I concede to your point of view, with the caveat being that when you mix college kids and alcohol, provocative attire makes it easier for an otherwise non-rapey guy to rationalize it as a signal for "yes". When the girl is lucid enough to say "no", then it goes back to being black-and-white, but what if she's too drunk to voice that opinion, and he's too drunk to realize that she isn't totally into it? That can happen regardless of attire, but I submit that dressing 'slutty' only makes that situation more volatile. In that sense, this situation CAN be seen as similar to venturing into dangerous neighborhoods wearing fancy clothes. Walking into a sexually-charged environment wearing provocative clothing and eliminating the ability to think straight is inherently a bad idea. By advising against wearing a three piece suit to the Bronx I am not condoning gang violence, I'm just trying to keep people from getting shot.

But again, for the every day I agree with you. There is no written law regarding what is provocative (in this country anyway) and I see that freedom of thought as one of the finest aspects about this country. So yes, walking around naked shouldn't give any one a pass to rape you, and no one should be allowed to place a hand on you (except the aforementioned officers =]), but doing the same thing at a college party whilst inebriated is still not a good idea (unless you're into that kind of thing, in which case WHY WASN'T I INVITED?).

5 Reasons Why The Mormons Have Been So Successful

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NOTE: If you're going to read this, please read it all. I don't want people arguing with me if they haven't actually read the whole thing :)
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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the Mormon church) has grown at a rate of 52% on average each decade since 1984, bringing the current estimation to over 4.5 million in the U.S. Here are five reasons why this church has been able to thrive and grow in a religious climate where atheism and agnosticism is on the rise.

They Encourage Strong Belief

Let me start with a hypothetical analogy to get things going:

A man who has never seen a giraffe stumbles upon a black and white photo of the creature. Having heard of the concept of a Giraffe before, and seeing the caption on the picture say “Giraffe”, the man decides that giraffes must therefore be black and white. After pondering the picture and asking himself whether or not he believed this was true, he placed faith in the fact that giraffes are black and white and went to show this new discovery with his friends and family.

His peers, also having never seen a giraffe and seeing the strength of the man’s faith, ask themselves whether they too believe that giraffes are black and white, and some come to the conclusion that he must be right. Years pass, and by now the entire community has come to the strong belief that giraffes must be black and white. Each member now has their own faith supplemented by the faith of their community (I see the picture is black and white, and all of these hundreds of people believe it’s in black and white, therefore it must be true!). It becomes much easier to believe it under these circumstances.

A few more years pass. Now, the earlier members are at the point where they not only believe giraffes are black and white, they KNOW it to be true.

This is where most religions fail. The LDS church not only encourages knowing that their belief set is true, they actively instruct members to say the words out loud that their faith is so strong that their belief has passed the realm of “I think it is” and into “I know it is.”

The reason this is useful is because let’s say that a member of our hypothetical church of the black and white giraffes visited Africa, and let’s say they encounter a real giraffe. By encouraging such a strong faith in their beliefs, that member is more likely to come to the conclusion that “this creature is not a giraffe. Giraffes are black and white” and less likely to stop believing in the church.

This has worked equally well in the LDS church with modern geologists determining that the earth exceeds the few thousand years that is specified in The Bible. The picture of the giraffe differs from the hard facts, but we believe in the picture so the facts must be false.

They Adapt

For some believers in the church of the black and white giraffes whose faiths may not be as strong as others, this new knowledge of orange and white giraffes may be a deal breaker. Like with some religions whose average faith is lower or not as involved, some members of our hypothetical church may take the side of the facts and leave the church. If the church found a way to incorporate this new data into their belief system, they would lose fewer members.

Believers-turned-skeptics ask the church leadership “What of these orange giraffes? Are they not real?” The leadership responds with “We have received new revelation that giraffes are black and white, but may also come in white and orange.” The skeptics, driving partially on logic, now have fact as part of the foundation of their faith, which makes it much easier to believe the aspects that have not been proven (We believe in orange ones, which I can see with my own eyes, and they also all believe in black and white ones, which I have believed for awhile now and everyone I know also believes. This must be true!). In addition to strengthening the faith of existing members, this also helps to bring in new members. By having a belief set partially based on verifiable fact, you make it much easier for people to conclude that the non-verifiable aspects are also true. This is due to most people taking an “all or nothing” approach when it comes to whether or not they agree with something someone else is saying. Pad your arguments with enough loose facts in a debate, and it is much easier to tweak the logic and lead people to your conclusion.

This is where another winning aspect of the LDS church shines through. To take our previous example, while the LDS leadership has remained silent on the issue of the age of the Earth, many prominent Mormons have accepted its incorporation into their belief set, if only partially. The popular belief is that the Earth may indeed be a few million years old, but its use for “human” life and carrying out God’s plan dates back the six or seven thousand. While scientists actually estimate the Earth being in the Billions of years rather than the millions, this is “close enough” to satiate most would-be skeptics.

They Are Relatively New

Adaptation becomes harder the longer a church is around. With churches that have been around thousands of years, new scientific data becomes harder and harder to dismiss. This may account for why many religious people take a much more passive view on God, thinking of him as a personal guide to inner truth rather than a guiding force in everyday life. The idea that the rain coming down is God’s hand blessing our crops is much harder to swallow when you understand the principles of Meteorology. For this reason, many stances taken by previous religions have had to be quietly omitted from frequent use, or their meanings altered. “Maybe God didn’t physically wave his hand and drop water to the ground, but he was the one who caused it to happen in some way. No, I don’t know how or why, God works in mysterious ways.”

Because the Mormon religion is less than 200 years old, not enough life-changing and widespread new data has been discovered that the church has been forced to omit or incorporate, allowing them to be more irrefutable than churches whose scripture suggests that they sacrifice a cow every few weeks.

In contrast to the belief of ignorant people, the Mormons DO follow the Bible. However, they also put heavy focus on their new scripture, The Book of Mormon. This effectively serves as a way to antecede the parts of the Bible that no longer mesh with modern society, in the same way that the New Testament does this for the Old Testament. When it comes to doctrine, conflicting statements are usually justified by essentially noting that the previous instructions were for earlier society, and that the new revelation is more essential for the modern day. Therefore, The Book of Mormon solves the problem of any uneasy or hard to swallow aspects of the New Testament.

The Church Was Built Using The Gaps In Other Churches

When Joseph Smith developed the beginnings of the church, he first went to every other Christian religion available. Armed with the knowledge of where those churches don’t quite live up to their own doctrine or follow their own rules, he was able to build his Church in such a way as to seem “more correct” than the others. This allowed him to draw upon a very large group of people as members: other Christians. By appealing to where their churches didn’t measure up, he was creating a better alternative for those who were dissatisfied.

Examples of this are the reinstatement of many of the rules outlined by Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians which many of the churches were not following, such as the organization of church leadership and the correct way to hold church gatherings. Even though this is clearly written in the Bible, most Christian religions in one way or another do not follow these rules. By utilizing this fact, The LDS church can draw on that in order to find members who are the most likely to join them (those who are already religious).

They Have Strong Community Values

For this section, I will be drawing mostly from my own experience rather than easily verifiable information, so feel free to take this one at face value and study it further.

The LDS church is a very tight-knit community. Growing up in it, I found that most of the children grew up together, would hang out together at school, and generally associated themselves mostly with other Mormons. This is because in addition to the three hour Sunday sessions, there are multiple groups that children are expected to be involved in throughout adolescence. This includes after-school youth events, a class taken by high school students Monday through Friday (usually before school starts), and The Boy Scouts of America, for which the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the primary sponsor.

These groups help to shape children into better followers of the community. They also assign “home teaching” to adult members and missionaries who come visit families, with an emphasis on families who seem to be slipping away from the church. This helps them to assess and correct any possible members going from “active” to “inactive” status. For a majority of members who leave the LDS church, the church itself still qualifies them as “inactive”.

Once a youth turns 19, they are expected to go on a two-year Mission, during which they will be shipped off to another state or country and spend their entire time focusing on the church and teaching others their ways. These are the missionaries that you may see riding their bikes around town. After they get home, most get married shortly after starting college.

You may have noticed that this means that by the time an LDS member starts college, they are already around 21 years old and have 3-4 years left of college. Some try to get a semester or two in before leaving on their Mission, but they are still two years behind when they get back. That, coupled with getting married shortly thereafter, has the propensity to cause financial stress for the newlyweds right off the bat. This is where the strong community of the LDS church comes to the rescue.

Different programs exist which serve to help members in need. These programs provide members with food, money, and other provisions needed to survive living on your on your own at 21, married, and without a college degree. This means that by the time you do get on your own two feet, you have the LDS church to thank for it, and now you are basically a member for life. You will follow their teachings, incorporate your children into the process, and pay the church ten per cent of your salary as “tithing”. This tithing will in turn be used to buy food and provisions for other families in need, perpetuating the process.

Genius.

Film Noir Splurge

Ok, so I haven't written anything creative since that screenplay I was putting together with my mom and a friend of mine... and that wasn't really creative writing either because we never got to that point. Lots of brainstorming and note-taking, though. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I had the random urge to write something, I'm posting it here, and please go easy on me because I'm definitely out of practice.

Protip: If you aren't listening to this: http://www.endlessyoutube.com/watch?v=MqhXbRH8_D4, this: http://www.rainymood.com/, and wearing a Fedora while you're narrating this out loud, you're doing it wrong.

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It’s almost alive, this city. At least, it used to be. Green-leaved trees, interspersed, like small pauses between the breaths that made up the concrete sidewalks. Children playing outside in the park, people walking their dogs, the whole bit. In the Winter, snowflakes would fall to our coats, almost protecting us. At night, the crisp sound of fireplaces could be heard, crackling while we made hot cocoa and told each other stories about our days. We had families. Jobs. Homes. Cars. We had Lives.

But not anymore. We don’t play outside anymore. We don’t stroll down the concrete sidewalks, basking in the glow of high noon. We don’t walk our dogs, or feel the refreshing cool of a new Winter. Our fireplaces burn, incinerating what’s left of the hope that used to drive this city. Not that I go home anymore… I haven’t seen the comfort of my bed in weeks.

It’s a dreary night in the city, as if there is any other kind. Autumn. Flecks of dust and grime coat the buildings in an effort to shield the lonely hiding within. Nowadays, the fearful hide themselves away, indoors, while lost souls wander aimlessly outside. It’s not pretty, but then how could it be? Not if you’ve been here long enough to see the things I’ve seen. Been through the things I’ve been through. No, nowadays the only thing that comforts me is the sweet embrace of the whiskey glass in my hand. The burning in my throat and stomach as I empty the glass. Reload. The welcome stench of smokes and filth fills my nose. The numbing racket of clinging glasses in my ears. They try to hide it behind fake smiles and forced toasts, but they’re dying too. Dying, slowly, like the rest of this hellhole of a town. It’s alright; I know why they do it. Trying to maintain a semblance of a normal life is noble, and far be it for me to call them out on it. It’ll catch up with them soon anyway, as they tuck themselves into their beds and the nightmares come back like hostile memories fighting to get out.

I’ll sit here for a few more minutes, listen to the moan of the saxophone on the radio, let it take me away from this place for a few moments more. Then I’ll go back. Back to where it all started. Back to where this urban paradise disappeared, leaving a cold shell behind. A poorly-placed imposter. Maybe this malevolent pretender will do away with me after I’m done. But not yet. Tonight, I need to finish what I started. I need to wash my hands of this mess. Here’s to hoping I get that far.

Time to go; that was the end of my last drink of the night. I wave good-bye to the barkeep, tipping him well. Well enough for some crappy whiskey and a place to sit my ass for a few hours. Who knows, this could be the last night I show my face in this place. Could be the last time I show my face anywhere. If only I could be so lucky. I put on my coat to leave, and light up as the door closes behind me. “These things can kill ya’”, she used to say to me. Yeah, well, there are worse things than death.

It’s raining hard out tonight, but I guess that’s to be expected. I take the corner, stopping briefly to stare at the moon between the tall, looming buildings. It stares back for a moment, then begins to retreat behind the cover of the dark-blue clouds. Even the moon doesn’t want to look at this place. Or maybe it just knows what’s about to happen.

I continue walking, the dim glow of the street-lights flickering erratically. Like pauses between the stressful breathes that make up the broken concrete sidewalks. I try to remember back to a time when things mattered. To a time before the bar. Before this city swallowed me whole and left me to rot inside it. I get there for a moment, then cross the street and it’s gone. Oh well. Almost there now.

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A New Direction

It has been roughly one and a half months since I've updated this blog. I've come to the conclusion that there really isn't anything all that noteworthy going on in my life, at least not anything that I think is worthy of such a large audience as the Internet. For that reason, I've decided that henceforth, this blog will be in place for me to organize my educational endeavors. I enjoy learning random tid-bits of information. I primarily study in Quantum Physics, History, Mathematics, Information Theory, Human Capability, Artificial Intelligence and Biology. I've long needed a place to write down the things that I've researched or hypothesised about, and this seems like the perfect place to do it. I welcome any intelligent debate on anything I write here, as I am more interested in learning and expanding my view of the Universe around us, and much less interested in trying to be right all the time. So please, feel free to add to anything that I write here.

omgnowai

So that's weird. I'm still here. Granted, it took me two months to actually update it, it looks like I'm still going to be keeping a blog. I'm not sure why I've decided this seeing as I pretty much satisfy my appetite for telling random strangers about my life through the miracle of Twitter, but I guess I'll just roll with it for now.

I guess I do have a pseudo-legitimate reason for the hiatus between this post and the last. About a week after said last post, I was laid off from the company I was working for. After about a month of not being able to find a new job, I came to the conclusion that in this economy the only way I was going to have a chance of staying afloat was to make money for myself rather than for a company. With that in mind, I started a Computer Repair and IT services firm. Clients are few and far between thus far, but I'm slowly getting up there.

I also have the 'Moorpark Lounge'. It's an idea I'm playing around with in my head. We'll see what ends up happening with it.

My mom and I have decided we're going to see if we can write a bitchin' screenplay and see how far it goes, so there's that on the horizon as well.

I guess there are quite a few things in the works for me right now. Maybe I don't have enough time to keep a blog.